A story in the April issue of THE WALPOLE CLARION, that I publish, attracted a great deal of attention, and foretold a possible local problem resulting from Global Warming, or something else. A sort of “unique virus” has hit our area. Here is that April First story:

Invasive Species?
Flamingos Spotted in Walpole

Even with global warming affecting our planet, it was a real shocker to see a flock of flamingos at the Mill Pond in Walpole this past week. Said Tilly Wilfert from Old Drewsville Road, ‘I can’t believe my eyes. These are such beautiful creatures, and I’m so surprised that they don’t mind standing on the ice and in such cold, cold water. I hope they stay all summer.’ Bradley Mange from Cold River Road in Drewsville commented, ‘We’d better contact Fish and Game real fast. It could be a bad problem if they keep showing up and start wiping out all the fish.’ If you see these wonderful creatures in your area, please take a few photos and send them to the Clarion, and perhaps the Walpole Historical Society. – Eric Merklein

Now three weeks later, these pesky, pink, non-passerine, genus Phoenicopterus birds are flocking to Walpole in great numbers. In fact, today I received an email from a friend who, driving past my home, and taking note, advised me that I too “Had been Flocked.”

Working already on the May issue of the CLARION, a follow-up story (below) had been prepared, but now must be rewritten and updated.

PINK MENACE?
FLAMINGOS CONTINUE TO ARRIVE

Since the flamingos were spotted on the frozen Mill Pond in March, global warming seems to be bringing more of these pinkers to the north country and into Walpole. They’re nesting at the Lennon property on the Common, at the corner of Main and Prospect Streets, and the Palmiotto home just off the Common. Said Fred Nobbils, a farmer from Alstead, ‘Now I’m getting a bit scared of these things. If these pink birds are nesting all over Walpole, who’s to say they won’t be tearing up my fields and taking all the fish from my pond? We gotta do something fast’ And recently we’ve gotten reports that these birds from the deep south are getting feisty and scaring the town’s children.

Neighbor of the kids in the photo right, Gretta Ziff, said, “I’m nervous as all heck. The kids are locked in most of the day because of COVID, and now they’re afraid to go out and play when their Zoom classes are done for the day. Why don’t the selectmen do something?” If you want to help, let the Clarion know if you spot any more of these pink invasives, and we’ll pass the information on to the Zoning and Select Boards. – Snead Baudelaire

The “new norm” in Walpole?

For additional extra, educational, elevating, edification, explaining these beasties, click on the link below, and be enlightened:

What is the Meaning of the
Pink Flamingo in the Yard?

FLAMINGO

Flamingo, like a flame in the sky
Flying over the island
To my lover nearby

Flamingo, with your tropical hue
For it’s you I rely on
And the love that is true

The wind sings a song to you as you go
The song that I hear below
The murmuring heart

Flamingo, when the sun meets the sea
Say farewell to my lover
And hasten to me

Aah-ooh, aah-ooh, ooh-ooh
Flamingo….
Flamingo….

Flamingo, when the sun meets the sea
Say farewell to my lover
And hasten to me

Aah-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-aah

Duke Ellington & His Orch. (vocal: Herb Jeffries) – 1941

HOPE YOU GOT HERE FOR THIS WARNING ABOUT THIS PINK PLAGUE — There is now (at least in our area) another reason to stay inside and be safe. Stay well, and watch out where you step. I can attest that the droppings in my yard are also pink (some round, some squished) — RAY